The next right thing

So today I had coffee with someone who really needed the time. I don't have the time. I have many things on my list today, and deadlines hanging over my head, people waiting. Still, I made this appointment and kept it.

This is not the first time I've met with someone new to recovery. And, given past experiences, I wonder at myself -- why did I initiate this? To date, not one person who has asked me to listen, to be a temporary sponsor, has held on. Not so many folks, to be sure, but also a discouraging track record. Yet today not only did I carve out this time, but I stopped to get a small notebook and a copy of Covington's book and workbook. I gave them all to her, with assignments even. I listened and shared my own experiences. I've known this person for about 72 hours, but I know her in ways only we can. "I feel so alone" she said, and I nodded. Then pointed out to her that no one -- absolutely no one -- was shocked at meetings when she shared something she felt humiliating. Been there. Suffered our own personal humiliations. Been ashamed, felt alone, believed we were not worthwhile nor that anyone could or would love us.

Dropped her off and she hugged me and said she felt such a great connection, "I love you" she said. She was going to start working on the books right away. We'll see, but in any case, I spent a couple hours of my time doing 'the next right thing'. This was the right thing, for me. It all felt right. Maybe she can stay sober this time, or not -- but what I did, was the right thing for me to do.

And there is a completed feeling inside me, not exactly satisfaction but something like. A sense that today, I was where I needed to be in the universe, and did what I needed to do. I can walk away with that.